Mistletoe Antics Practice Makes Perfect
by DangerousDreams
Summary: A standard ball of fluff.  Holly and Artemis discuss Santa Claus and stuff like that.  Please R&R?  *hands you freshly baked cookie*  Please?  T for mildly descriptive kissing.


A/N: My many, most deepest, sincerest apologies to the amazing ht4eva. I know you despise ArtemisXHolly. *bows* I'm so sorry .

And to my beta: If there's stuff I need to fix PM me or call me. Because I was too lazy to print this out and rice my bike to your house. : 9

Holly burst into his room unannounced, carrying bundles of her namesake in her arms. She had hoped to surprise him by popping in so suddenly, but he didn't react at all. He was lying on his bed with eyes closed and earphones in, presumably listening to classical music, if the way he was waving his arms like a orchestra conductor's was any indication*. _It must be so loud he didn't hear me,_ she thought, then she herself jumped, doing a double take.

Atermis Fowl, criminal mastermind at the age of eight, genius, child prodigy, always dignified… was wearing _jeans_. She grinned as she remembered him mentioning [rather, complaining about] his mother's choice of a birthday present for him.

Holly started humming absently as she inspected him with a closer look. The jeans were loose-fitting, faded-looking, and a little worn out at the edges. They also looked very soft**. He wasn't wearing a T-shirt, though; no, he hadn't sunk to that level yet. He had on a white dress shirt and a loosened black tie.

Holly narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. Like this, in this moment, he looked… open. Friendly. Not friendly in an Orion way. Friendly in an Artemis way, in an intellectual, gently teasing way.

_Stop staring_, she chided, shaking her head. She turned and began to hang holly about the room.

"It's November. Why are you humming Christmas melodies?"

She jumped violently, then cursed. "You terrified me! I thought you were listening to your music!" At the same time, a part of her whispered frantically, _Sentence A was 2 words, Sentence B was 6. 2 plus 6 equals 8. Nothing to do with 5. Except 8 minus 3 is 5, and you could get 3 by dividing 6 [Sentence B] by 2 [Sentence A]-_*** She shook her head. _Stop worrying._

"I'm not listening to anything." _5._

"I occasionally pretend to be listening to music but will in fact be listening to other people's conversations. It's a very useful trick to know. But in this case, I just happened to not be listening to anything when you came into my room uninvited, stared at me for a few moments, then started humming." His eyes were still closed as he spoke in this rapid-fire fashion.

"Nnn! Stop talking so fast! I'm trying to keep track-" The words slipped out unbidden. She clapped a hand over her mouth, but he didn't react except to very quickly smile and say, "Stop worrying about me." _4. That's good. _

There were a few moments of stillness. Then he heard her begin to move about, among rustlings. He opened his ice-blue eye and watched her. She clambered all over his room, over his desk and chairs, hanging holly everywhere. She was in civilian clothing; a large dark green sweater over black leggings****. She looked as if she had just been outside in the windy weather; the tip of her nose was red and her hair was in a delightful mess. It made for a rather charming picture. _Charming? _thought Artemis disgustedly. _Orion's getting to me. _Then what she was doing registered in his mind.

"Holly!" he said sharply, sitting up. "Why are you hanging holly all around my room?" He paused. "That sounded strange."

"I'm decorating. Angeline told me to*****," Holly replied. Some of the faeries had been allowed some vacation time and had used it to stay in Artemis's home. He wasn't sure who had invited them to, but he had a sneaking suspicion it was his mother. Myles and Beckett were fascinated by Foaly and Holly. Angeline, seeing this, insisted they stay until Christmas.

Artemis groaned. "I despise seasonal decorum, though. Mothe- Mum knows that."

Holly grinned cheekily. "Too bad."

He sighed. That was probably why his mother had given Holly this particular task. She knew he couldn't say no to her.

"But Christmas in wonderful!" Holly said cheerily, partly in response to his quiet, partly in an attempt to justify what Artemis considered grievous vandalism of his room.

"I'm not religious," he replied grumpily.

"Do you know how the original myth of Santa Claus started?" she asked, ignoring his previous statement.

"Don't tell me…"

"He was a dwarf."

Artemis turned this revelation over in his mind, looking at her in disbelief, then wrinkled his nose. "That's wrong on so many levels."

"I know. But the cookies and milk left out for 'Santa Claus' were considered an invitation, the warlocks would freeze time for him, and he could tunnel in and out of houses. No one knows how that chimney nonsense got started," Holly explained, precariously climbing onto his headboard to fasten the last plant over it in an aesthetically pleasing way.

He turned to watch her. "Why the presents?"

She shrugged as she dropped down to sit next to him, landing in a nest of pillows and leaning against the headboard. "No one really knows, but the rumours are that he would steal something from each house that no one would miss, then distribute it to someone else, from whom he would steal another unwanted item, and on and on it went. Redistributing the wealth, in a way, I suppose."

"How strange." Artemis fell silent and Holly watched him, wondering what the Mud Boy was thinking. Suddenly a look appeared his face and she couldn't tell if it was dread or amusement or a mixture of the two.

"Holly…" he said slowly and pointed to the plant she had just pinned above the headboard. "That's… not holly."

"Hm?" She turned and looked at it. "Oooh, D'Arvit," she breathed. "That's…"

"Mistletoe," he finished for her.

The silence that fell after this simple word was filled with so many emotions.

She studied his face [noting with some satisfaction that he was blushing thee slightest bit], looking into the eyes that matched hers like puzzle pieces. A small smile tugged at both their mouths simultaneously. _It could be worse_, she thought as she leaned in.

_At least this time I'm fully conscious and wasn't just viciously healed_, he thought as he leaned in.

000

Foaly grinned as he anticipated the shocked expression Artemis's face would harbour when he showed him his new computer program. _That Mud Boy will be so jealous. He won't know what hit him_, he thought gleefully.

He trotted excitedly in place****** as he contemplated knocking on the bedroom door before entering, then decided against it. _I'll burst in and surprise him then I'll make him burn with envy._

He threw open the door, drawing in a huge breath with all eight of his lungs to shout, but it died in his throat. There, on Artemis's bed, sat the Mud Boy and Captain Short… kissing. There was about a foot of space between their bodies, as they were still sitting on their respective pillows, but they were both leaning forward and her arms were wrapped loosely around his neck, and his around her waist.

The centaur stared, jaw slack. Neither of them noticed him, as their eyes were closed. As Foaly watched, too stunned to move, Holly moved closer to Artemis, and Artemis reciprocated by wrapping his arms around her more tightly, closing the gap between their bodies. Foaly backed out the door slowly, then closed it, eyes wide and unblinking. He stood stock-still. The enormity of what he had just witnessed had not yet hit him. He was in shock.

There was no noise for a minute, then suddenly he heard them both laugh.

"Well, that was…" Artemis was for once at a loss for words.

"…awkward," Holly said.

"Mm, well, I was thinking more along the lines of 'nice'… But if you really think that… practice makes perfect, you know." For the first time the teen didn't sound like the 250% sure of himself Artemis they all knew, his words choppy and uncertain.

"Oh, really?" Foaly heard amusement in Holly's tone. Then he heard nothing. Slowly, he walked away from the door, not even noticing the computer in his hands anymore, pale as a ghost.

_Le Fin_

*I do this occasionally when I'm listening to either Lord Of The Rings music or Robert W Smith music.

**I adore soft jeans. They are so comfortable. It's like wearing sweatpants except better.

*** This is literally the way I think. OCD _sucks_.

**** Let the record show that I do not approve of just leggings as a substitute for pants, but I imagine Holly would look very attractive dressed like this. *Blush*

*****Originally this was "Your mum told me to" but that reminded me too much of that Ouran dub blooper with Vic Mignogna: "Let me just finish crushing this small child. Your mom here told me to." If you haven't seen the Ouran Dub Bloopers, go watch them. They're hilarious.

****** Which was a lot more complicated than you would imagine.

A/N: In case you were wondering…

The new computer program is one that is similar to Opal Koboi's chair thingy. It reads your mood and will offer you a choice to either enhance or change your mood by playing music, spraying scents, and/or massaging you.

No, Artemis's mother wasn't trying to set them up by accidentally-on-purpose giving Holly mistletoe. Holly had actually gone out to collect the plant herself from the woods outside. Don't ask me how she mixed up holly with mistletoe. Maybe she was distracted…? I don't know. It's a plot device, okay?


End file.
